How I went from
being a burnt-out Overfunctioning Woman in Love, to restoring myself, to helping hundreds of women do the same!

Before I became a well-established mental health professional helping Overfunctioning Women in Love just like you…

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....I was an Overfunctioning Woman in Love, too.

I found myself carrying the bulk of the emotional responsibility in the relationship, and I was filled with anxiety, guilt, frustration, and resentment.

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I had become afraid of upsetting my partner.

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I felt desperate to keep my relationship patched together at all costs.

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And I was scared to death of stepping back, raising my standards, and seeing what this relationship was really made of...

 

 

Bullies, Prozac, and Oprah, oh my!

 

Growing up, I struggled with anxiety, depression, weight and body issues, and relationship insecurities. Self-worth was not in my emotional rolodex.

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On the surface, my life looked pretty good. But behind-the-scenes, I was struggling with really tough family issues and getting horrifically bullied at school.

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Food, TV, and sleep were my go-to comforts, and getting straight A's became my favorite pastime (hello, perfectionism). I started seeing a therapist and taking Prozac, but overwhelm and emptiness were becoming my new emotional baselines. 

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I finally found some relief my junior year of high school when I accidentally stumbled upon my love for psychology. Learning about Freud, attachment theory, and the social behaviors of humans captivated me.

 

Suddenly, my weird childhood obsession with Oprah and Donahue made sense…I was fascinated with the human mind and the human experience. And my path forward into adulthood was clear - I was going to become a therapist and help people feel better.

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Little did I know that helping others feel better would have to start with helping myself feel better…

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Fast forward 10 years and I was adorned with a Bachelor’s degree in Psychology, a Master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy, and a doctorate degree in Family Sciences. Somewhere in the middle of all that I got married, completed two cross-country moves, purchased two homes, and rescued three kitties. Life was feeling pretty darn good.

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But seven years into marriage, after the birth of my daughter, all hell broke loose.

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Motherhood was not going as planned (I now know that’s the informal definition of ‘motherhood’).

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I had stepped into a management position for a thriving therapy practice, while continuing to see a full caseload of clients. 

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And my marriage was not adjusting well to the demands of this new life stage, to say the least. 
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The stress was high. The juggling act was intense. I was utterly exhausted and burning the candle at both ends, while my to-do list exponentially grew with each passing day.

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But the Overfunctioning Woman in me persisted. 

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And my iPhone camera roll is proof…showing off smiling faces at the train park, joyful family celebrations, and professional conference presentations.

 

Somehow I was balancing it all.

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Or was I?

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Unbeknownst to me, my body was paying the price for this so-called ‘balancing.’ 

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Soon after the pandemic began and life stress was at its peak, I started feeling worse and worse. Mild, non-specific symptoms of autoimmune disease that hung in the background for most of my life, had quickly escalated into a serious diagnosis. “You have tested positive for Lupus SLE,” the doctor said. 

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As she rattled off the long list of medications and supplements I would immediately need to start taking, her voice faded to the background as I heard a deep inner voice rise up from within and say to me, “No. That's not happening.”

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Something deep within me knew that the answer was not to 'fight' this illness. But rather to befriend my mind, body, and soul, and start listening to what they were trying to tell me and giving them what they need.

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What they deserve. 

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And so I began my own journey of Self-Restoration. The ultimate journey back home to me.

I started taking a deep, soulful inventory of my life, identifying the areas that were truly filling me up and the ones that were draining the life out of me.

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I got really honest with myself about the relationships that were adding to my life. And the ones that were subtracting. 

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This brought me face-to-face with some very hard truths that I had been pushing down for years. Things my heart had known for a long time, but that my logical mind had not been ready to confront. 

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So I gave myself permission to move through this Self-Restoration at a pace that felt safe to me - a slow-enough pace that my nervous system could handle.

 

I started stepping back where the stakes were low. I said No to things I really didn't want. I let small things that really weren't my responsibility fall through the cracks.

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As those changes became comfortable, I stepped back even more. The stakes got higher. I let my partner feel the pinch of their poor choices, and didn't rescue them or make it all better. I made my feelings known. And I got crystal clear on my boundaries. 

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As I fiercely confronted my Overfunctioning in Love and partner-pleasing patterns, I watched with a discerning eye to see how they would choose to show up. Would they step up and become the emotionally mature, considerate partner I deserved?

 

Spoiler alert: they did not.

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In the end, they chose to overstep my boundaries to the point of no return. And I chose to respect myself enough to flip "I do" to "I'm done."

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I had come face-to-face with my biggest fear ~ I stopped Overfunctioning and it all fell apart.

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Just like that, a major chapter of my life was over.

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But what I thought was a breakdown, was actually a breakthrough.​

 

Releasing a relationship that had defined nearly all of my adulthood was the most terrifying decision I had ever made.

 

Ever.

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It brought me to my knees, and filled me with absolute terror. But the truth is, I had outgrown that relationship. I was no longer the insecure 18-year old who would make do with emotional breadcrumbs and abandon myself for their comfort and happiness.

 

And I was no longer willing to be in a relationship that left me feeling so alone. 

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As I stared down at the pile of emotional rubble that was supposed to be my happily ever after, my mind raced with every fear imaginable...How would I survive? How would I pay the bills? How would I get my kid through this without traumatizing her? Would I ever find love again? 

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​Thankfully, the fear of staying stuck in the miserable known far outweighed the fear of the unknown answers to these questions. Whatever was in front of me, I was ready.  

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So moment-by-moment and day-by-day, I began venturing into the unknown. I began formulating the answers to these questions. 

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And I began discovering how powerful I was with the freedom to live life on my terms, without fear of their reaction or accusations.

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I began devouring existential and spiritual books every moment I could, and cultivated a whole new mindset that allowed me to see possibilities where I once saw limitations.

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I started deciding that I would re-build my life into something far greater than anything I had yet experienced. I was ready to blow my own mind. 

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I started asking myself, “What do I want and need?”

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I started listening to my answers. ​

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And best of all…I started discovering a level of joy and fulfillment I never even knew existed. 

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How?

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I started to put ME first in my own life...without guilt!

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I became my own best friend. I learned to have my own back. I remembered that my worth is non-negotiable.

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I was becoming a Self-Restoring Woman with confidence, standards, and self-respect.

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Today, I am completely at home with myself and I absolutely LOVE who I've become and the life I've created for myself! My body feels energized and pain-free (all autoimmune markers are gone!). My mind is stimulated with creativity and passion projects. And my soul is fed with existential wisdom, daily spiritual practices, and a deep connection to the meaning and purpose of my life. I am at ease in my own life.

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Oh, and I now know what reciprocal, generous, mature love feels like ;)

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This evolution out of Overfunctioning and into Self-Restoration has shown me what is possible when our hearts and minds feel safe, respected, and nurtured - not just by others, but also by our selves.

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I want this for you, too. 

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Through this deeply personal journey back home to myself, coupled with my insatiable appetite for all things psychology, I have developed a reputation for helping Overfunctioning Women in Love just like you restore themselves back to health and happiness. 

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But I don’t do this just by teaching you what to do. Although that is super important. 

 

I’m also really good at helping you understand why and how you got to this struggle in the first place. Why your Overfunctioning makes sense. How, once upon a time, it actually saved your life. 

 

And this is the key to finally starting to feel good about yourself…because everything you do, think, and feel makes sense once you understand it!

 

And once you understand it, changing it is SO much easier, more fulfilling, and wildly impactful. 

 

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I’m able to do this so well because I teach what I embody.

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Not only have I been trained by some of the best mental health professionals in the world, but I’ve walked my own journey through the depths of fear, anxiety, depression, relationship challenges, and despair. I’ve found my way through, and I’m here to help you find your way through, too. 

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Are you ready to finally ditch the overfunctioning, overwhelmed, anxious, burnt-out version of you, and create the restored, radiating, self-respecting woman who is here to live her best life?

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I know you are. 

 

That’s why you’ve read to the bottom of this page. 

 

Because you’re ready for YOU 2.0. The most grounded, joyful, authentic, and confident version of yourself. The one who is living the life you desire, because you no longer question if you deserve something better. You KNOW that you do!

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I’m so glad you’re here. Let’s do this!